Dating is quite the plight for us introverts, seeing how selective we are of who we want to talk to. Not only that, but we run out of energy for socialization much faster if the conversation doesn’t interest us. In addition, the idea of meeting new people to find your soulmate is just, ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. So, are we doomed to spend the rest of our lives in an empty house with nobody but our cats to love us (in my case dog, because I’m allergic to cats)? Not really. I’m just over exaggerating, but here are 10 dating problems you may face as an introvert.
1. No One ever Notices your Flirting Skills
There’s an art to flirting and introverts have perfected this art, but no one ever notices. This style of flirting is called, “the ignore”. Yup, I’ll ignore you so hard you won’t be able to resist. Coincidentally, I do this with my enemies too so I can see why some people may be confused.
2. Not Answering the Phone when your Crush Calls
I hate phone calls, even if it’s something as small as calling customer service. It’s not that I hate talking to people, but there’s something about a phone call I just don’t like. Don’t even get me started about those unexpected ones. I literally spend a good minute psyching myself up when I’m about to make a call. Now, pair this hatred up with my crush calling me and its confusion city. It’s like, “I want to pick up but also I don’t and as a result I miss the call.
3. Forgetting to Text Back
A lot of people purposely don’t text back right away in fear that it may look “too desperate”. I don’t text back right away either, but for very different reasons. When I read a text, I usually have to process what was said for a while. Because of that, I go off to do something else and when that happens I sometimes forget to text back. Oops.
4. Meeting Someone Requires you to Go Out
Meeting someone new requires you to step out of your comfort zone, and that means stepping out of your house. I love going outside to hike or take a walk, but when the variable of “meeting someone new” is added into the equation, it’s a little different. All of a sudden, my house becomes more appealing. This could also just be me being nervous.
5. You Love your Alone Time A lot
Relationships require time and energy. Although I don’t mind sharing my time with any future dates, my mindset it quite different when my socialization threshold has reached its limits. I all of a sudden become allergic to people and need to spend at least a good couple of hours watching youtube videos alone. During that time, I’m always glad to be single.
6. Being Awkward in Group Conversations
Sometimes you and your crush end up having a group conversation with either friends or random strangers. I’m way better at one on one conversations than with group convos. I always consciously wait for the pause in the conversation so that I can interject my thoughts. I still haven’t perfected this yet, because I always end up interrupting someone.
7. When Your Crush Doesn’t Hear You
I always hype myself up to talk to someone I like. I’m not even planning to flirt. I’m literally just making small talk like talking about the weather or asking him where he got his shirt. When I’m done hyping myself up and I finally say hi, not hearing me is the WORST thing ever. I don’t even try again because I always feel like I’m shouting. Why do I even talk????
8. Resting B**** Face makes you Look Unapproachable
This one year I was on a parade waving at people. 3 people from the parade route told me to smile. That was the year, I realized I had resting b**** face. For those of you that don’t know, resting b**** face is a permeant angry look that happens to be your normal face when you’re content. People sometimes mistake me for looking sad or angry when I’m minding my business. I’m sorry but it’s not my fault that my face was made this way.
9. You’re Worried about Annoying your Crush.
As an introvert, I personally know how it feels to be annoyed by too much talking or conversation that doesn’t interest me. Because of that, I also worry that other people think the same when I’m talking to them. I end up reading too much into their body language, facial expressions, and their engagement of our convo. I’ve ended dates too soon even though I was having a good time, just because of this worry.
10. Not Knowing how to Talk about Yourself
Not to brag but, I’m a really good listener. I can easily get people comfortable and talk about themselves. The problem happens when I’m with another good listener and they ask about me. “You wanna know about me????”, my brain goes into panic mode because I rarely get asked about myself. I start stuttering and my thoughts get jumbled.
So, those were 10 Dating Problems for introverts I’ve personally faced. There’s probably a million more that I missed. In the end introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, dating always has its problems. It’s all about how you learn from them.