Gossipers, manipulators, bullies and attention seekers all have one thing in common; they are toxic people. Such distasteful behavior and attitude can seriously affect the quality of your life and worse, turn you into a toxic person yourself. A lot of strategic thinking and planning is needed in order to deal with toxic people in life. This is especially true when the person in question is a close relative, a colleague or a mate. These are people you brush shoulders with on a regular basis. Avoidance is not really an issue here as often advocated. Toxic people are smarter than you may think. The have already spotted your weak spot before you are aware of it and will capitalize on it. Your self-defense mechanism is your greatest weapon. Here are smart ways of how to deal with toxic people in life;
- Recognize The Traits That Make You Vulnerable If you are the kind of person who wants to please everyone, a toxic person will easily make you the victim of his/her nasty mood. Take some quiet time to analyze the situation and see what went wrong. A better understanding of your character is a stepping stone when you have to deal with toxic people. Eckhart Tolle better explains this concept in his book The Power of Now. He says a toxic person has a “pain body” and all this negative energy is transmitted to unsuspecting ones surrounding them. (Tolle, 2004).
- Anticipate an exit strategy
Colleagues or schoolmates are more likely to lessen their intimidation when they notice you have clearly set boundaries. So it is always wise to plan an exit strategy well in advance. For instance, if someone is likely to make a mockery of your singleness, think of a firm response beforehand. So if Valentine’s Day is approaching there is a high likelihood of discouraging speech to come from such a person. Be sure to be firm and decisive but never be rude.
- Manage your emotions It is vital to keep your emotions in check if you want to successfully deal with toxic people. Smart people are talented at keeping calm under stressful situations. Never give into extreme anger or aggressive behavior when provoked by a toxic person. Don’t give them what they want.
- Take good care of yourself Getting enough rest, eating well and exercise may not make sense when talking about how to deal with toxic people. But these habits fortify your defense force when someone is trying to push your buttons. Taking good care of your overall health ensure you are in the right frame of mind under stressful situations.( Strepp, 2015).
- Walk away from drama Toxic people love attention for all the wrong reasons. When someone is trying to engage you in a heated argument, be bold enough to walk away. You do not need permission from anyone to walk away from a toxic person.
- Don’t waste your energy It’s clear that a toxic person will never own up to their mistakes. They always play the victim. So if you want to deal with toxic people, rise above meaningless explanations. don’t waste your energy trying to ‘fix things’. Reserve this energy for better things.
- Tolle, E ( 2004). The power of now: A guide to spiritual enlightenment. Vancouver, BC. Namaste publishing Inc.
- Streep, P (2015). Quitting: Why we fear it and why we shouldn’t-In life, love, and work. New York. Da Capo Lifelong Books. Retrieved from :https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201612/8-strategies-dealing-the-toxic-people-in-your-life