Forgiving For Yourself (Not Them)

Forgiveness is not an easy concept. With that said, it’s almost as if one is defending anger and resentment as not only easy to deal with concepts but, preferable ones to giving forgiveness.

I’d like to clear that up. Staying angry at something, holding a grudge or even sitting back and regretting the fact that something ever happened will not change it. What you have to do before even choosing in what direction to act is come to a point of acceptance.

That piece of advice might be easy but, doing it is a whole other ball game. But, I am here to help with that.

Anger causes us to say words we might never mean or think of outside of the heated moments we’re experiencing such emotion in, holding a grudge will serve to keep us in a constant state of anger and can put you up for “increased risks of heart disease, high blood pressure, stomach ulcers, back pain, and headaches,” (http://news.health.com/2014/09/12/3-reasons-holding-a-grudge-is-bad-for-your-health/) and, if we end up succumbing to any health issues, it will just put us in a sadder emotional state and not do much for our self-esteem. 

heart_bandaidEveryone is going to have their regrets but, you cannot change the past. And moreover, if you ever wanted a past ‘thing’ at one point in time, no one (not even yourself) has the right to allow you to regret it because once, that very regret was exactly what you wanted. This again, forgive yourself and allow yourself to live your life in a perfectly imperfect manner. We are all still learning in this life.

Now to the bigger picture: forgiving others for our own sake.

To put the health part aside, choosing not to forgive is giving power to whoever hurt you in the first place. You are giving them power because, you are continuing to allow the manner or situation in which they betrayed your trust or did something to hurt you to tap away at your livelihood.

While everyone will do this in a different way, you have to get fed up with this and decide: no more.

This person and their bad vibes is not worth all of emotional pain and suffering. Bad feelings might be easy to go back and forth between but, that never really makes you happy despite the satisfaction we might claim it gives us.

One cannot be perfectly happy all the time but, letting the same ill moment in the past interrupt your smile, laughter and more upbeat moods is not fun for anyone.

What I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to cling to your pride over that wrong. You were wrong and that is the reality of the situation. The other person will probably never agree or admit to their wrong doing so, the least you can do is give yourself peace of mind in general. Forgive and forget for your health, physical and emotional.



Barrie, Leslie. “3 Reasons Holding a Grudge Is Bad for Your Health.” Health News / Tips & Trends / Celebrity Health. 12 Sept. 2014. Web. 9 Nov. 2015. <http://news.health.com/2014/09/12/3-reasons-holding-a-grudge-is-bad-for-your-health/>.

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Forgiving For Yourself (Not Them)