Ambiverts are a tricky bunch.
A lot of our viewers on our Psych2Go YouTube have been requesting that we publish an article on Ambiversion. Well we finally delivered! It’s often very difficult to figure out what ambiverts are really feeling inside. If you haven’t heard about Ambiverts before, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.
It turns out Ambiverts are very common. In fact, most people are ambiverted. People who are ambiverts consider themselves a mix of both introverted and extroverted traits. Sometimes, they prefer their own company and alone times while other times, they need to hang out with a lot of people. Sometimes, they enjoy solitary activities like reading books and other times out partying it up.
Some people say they are social introverts or extroverted introverts or introverted extroverts, but in truth, they are just degrees of the umbrella term ambiverts.
Research suggests that two thirds of the population are ambiverts, meaning you might know more about these types of people than you think. Whether ambiverts display introverted or extroverted behavior is sometimes due to their mood at that particular time. Think of these people as fluid, shifting personalities. Carl Jung, the psychologist who coined the terms “introvert” and “extrovert,” argued that there was also a third group – but he never gave this group a name. It was only much later, in the 1940’s, that the term “ambivert” started to be used.
Introverts typically loathe being in large groups, and find it mentally and emotionally draining. They “recharge” by spending time alone or with just one or two people. Extroverts love being in groups, and relish being the center of attention. They’re often uncomfortable when left alone.
If you’ve just read these brief definitions and you feel like you don’t quite fit in to either of these groups, don’t worry – you’re not alone. You’re probably an ambivert. This means, for example, that you might value alone time, but you also enjoy going to parties with lots of people.
On the other hand, maybe you’re not an ambivert, but you know someone who is. And maybe, just maybe, you have a crush on that special someone. So, how do you tell if they like you?
1. They Single You Out At Large Parties Or Gatherings
A great way to gain insight into the mind of an ambivert is by watching how they act at parties. It’s already been established that ambiverts enjoy parties, but they might not be trying to draw to much attention to themselves, as an extrovert would. On the other hand, they’re not going to act introverted and hide in a corner either. Their behavior is an interesting mix of both of these behaviors. You can really tell when an ambivert is interested in someone at a party because they’ll single them out. They might approach that person and have a one-on-one conversation that spirals into a long, tangential discourse. If you ever get caught up in one of these conversations, it can feel like the party and everyone around the person speaking to you just becomes a meaningless blur.
Why do Ambiverts do this? While they do enjoy hanging out with a bunch of people, they are most comfortable dealing with small groups, or just one other person. That’s why they try to isolate the people they might have a crush on at a large gathering. It’s to put themselves in a more comfortable situation so they can better enjoy that person’s company. It’s not that they were uncomfortable before they approached their crush – indeed, they might have been laughing and joking with the crowd before they set eyes on that special person. But when it comes to someone who they consider romantically important, they’ll probably prefer to interact alone, rather than in a group conversation where they have to share floor with numerous other people.
2. They Spontaneously Ask You To Hang Out
Sometimes ambiverts can be very unpredictable. You might know someone at work or at school who always keeps their head down, socializing very little and working alone. And when that person asks you to hang out, it can be pretty surprising. You might have thought that person was a complete introvert based on their behavior, and that they would never in a million years want to do something social with you. But how people act in their work or school environments can be very different from how they act in social situations. These ambiverted individuals probably want nothing more than to “blow off some steam” after focusing so hard on their solitary work. So if someone like this asks you to hang out completely out of the blue, it’s probably because they’re an ambivert. An even greater indicator of ambiversion is if they ask you to hang out with a few friends, since this means they’re comfortable in groups.
A key feature of ambiverts is the fact that they sometimes get tired of being alone. And when they do get tired of their “alone time,” their behavior can change very quickly. This might mean getting a call from an ambivert at a really strange time, or when you least expected it. These sudden bursts of extroverted behavior can spur them on to do very impulsive things, like asking out their crush (even if they’ve never said a word to them before). And who know, the person they decide to call up might just be you next time!
3. They Seem Like They’re Hesitating Around You
Sometimes ambiverts aren’t sure what to feel. One the one hand there might be a very strong urge inside of them to go home and chill. On the other hand, another part of their personality might be screaming at them to pluck up the courage to ask out their biggest crush. From the outside looking in, this can seem like the person is virtually being pulled in two different directions. This can often be very confusing for the people ambiverts have crushes on. They might even get the wrong impression about these ambiverted individuals. It’s not that they’re nervous persay, it’s more that ambiverts can’t quite decide whether taking the next step with their crush is the right decision for their social lives. They might start flirting with you confidently one minute, and then shy away from their previous actions the next. Alternatively, they might get you to the point where you’re sure that the next words out of their lips are going to be “Will you go out with me?”, only to leave you hanging.
It’s not like they changed their minds about liking you, it’s just their introverted side telling them that they’re getting themselves into a dangerous social situation. It’s important to remember that ambiverts wouldn’t be hesitating around you if they didn’t see you as an important person. In their minds, they see the prospect of going out with you as a very big deal, and an important decision to make. The only problem is that when it comes to this decision, both their introverted and extroverted sides are arguing with each other over who’s right!
4. They’re Inconsistent When Interacting With You Online
You can tell a lot about someone’s personality by looking at how they behave online. And in today’s world, that’s how most relationships start. People can usually tell if they want to date someone after five minutes of chatting online, and if all goes well, the internet is where relationships first start to blossom. Like it or not, that’s how it is. But how do ambiverts fit in to this equation? As many ambiverts will tell you, they have a certain “love/hate” relationship with social media and online interaction. Some days, they love chatting with friends and pursuing romances online. But on other days, they’re more inclined to shut themselves off from this looming and sometimes intrusive world, preferring to be alone with their thoughts. This can be confusing for the people they have a crush on. They might be texting you for hours on one day, only to fall completely off the radar the next.
Just relax, this doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you or lost interest. They’re just taking a break from social media. This kind of “on/off” behavior also extends to phone calls, texting, and even interactions in person. If you’re pursuing a relationship with an ambivert, you’re probably going to be experiencing a lot of inconsistencies and unpredictable behavior in the future… just a warning. The key is not to stress out about whether they’re still interested. Just give them time, and they’ll start texting you back soon enough!
5. They Show You Their Playful Side And Their Serious Side
One of the most beautiful and compelling things about ambiverts is that they’re incredibly multi-dimensional. Getting more and more intimate with an ambivert can be like peeling the layers off an onion – you keep discovering new sides to their personality. When you first meet them at work or at school, for example, they might seem like a total social superstar; they make everyone laugh, they’re pros at keeping a conversation going, and they love being in groups. But get to know them a bit more, and you might find that they’re not quite the classic extrovert they seem to be. When an ambivert starts to become interested in someone, they tend to show them their entire personality, not just the side they’re comfortable with showing in public. Alternatively, it could be the complete opposite. They might seem very introverted in public, but when you get to know them better they show you their playful, extroverted side.
And when they start to show you this “hidden” side of their personality, that’s when you know for sure that they like you. For many introverts, it’s only when they trust people that they let them see their hidden personality. This is because they’re serious about you, and they want you to see them for who they truly are. They don’t want you to see the whole of their personality, because at the end of the day, they want you to fall in love with their entire personality, and not just one side of it.
You can read about ambiverts here: https://www.psych2go.net/signs-suggest-you-are-ambivert/
Or watch one of our videos to see if you or someone you know is an ambivert.