Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones, But Words Will (Always) Hurt You. (More).

Whenever I heard this nursery rhyme used in elementary school by my teachers, I would become so angry.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you!

This implied that emotional pain would “never” hurt me, and that physical pain would always hurt me more–so brush it off, because being called names is nothing!

But weeks later, I would forget about falling and scratching up my knee, yet still feel pain from those girls ganging up on me and calling me names, or that boy that followed me around the playground calling me a pig.

Now, when I train and study to treat patients’ minds and feelings (rather than just their bodies), I’m reminded of how incorrect this  saying is.

When we get a paper cut, break a limb, or even just have a simple headache, we are quick to react and are much more proactive in treating the injury. But emotional pain is just as (if not more) important as physical pain.

First, let me explain why emotional pain is no different from physical pain.

When functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) is used to scan brain networks, scientists at the University of Michigan have found that the “brain networks that are activated when you’re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about a lover who has spurned you”.

In other words, the brain doesn’t distinguish between physical pain and intense emotional pain.

Rejection, or just reminiscing about rejection, elicits a response in two specific areas of the brain associated with physical pain:

  1. Secondary somatosensory cortex
  2. Dorsal posterior insula

(Rejection and other emotional trauma can actually play a huge role in the development of chronic pain disorders such as fibromyalgia.)

Another fascinating study found that taking Tylenol (acetaminophen) in individuals who had experienced a recent social rejection resulted in fewer hurt feelings reported at the end of the experimental phase, as well as less activation in the two areas that are activated when the body feels pain.

 

Heartache and painful breakups are more than just metaphors.” – Dr. Ethan Kross, Ph.D.

So why do I say that emotional pain is worse than physical pain? Because emotional pain, and memories of it, trigger physical pain– but vice versa, not so often.

For example: heartbreak.  Have you ever felt physical pain in your chest after an upsetting event?

The clenching feeling and dull throb after a hard breakup, the aching after a loved one has passed away…these are physical symptoms triggered by emotional pain.

When our sense of safety (from being loved or with loved ones) is threatened, respiration and heart rate get out of sync, activating the sympathetic nervous system (arousal, elevated heart rate and blood pressure). This can create uneasiness in the chest, and if intense, even pain.

On the other hand, this feeling of safety activates the vagal-parasympathetic system in our bodies, promoting easy and relaxed integration of both heart rate and breathing (…which are both in your chest).

Heartache. Heartbreak. These aren’t just metaphors. Recalling the time you broke your arm will not make your arm hurt, but recalling the time you were dumped by your high-school sweetheart will cause you substantial emotional pain (which in turn, can cause physical pain).

 

Another reason I think emotional pain is worse than physical pain is the extent we go to avoid it.

For example: self-harm.

Many patients report cutting their flesh (arms, legs, etc.) because the physical pain provides momentary comfort from the emotional pain they deem is more excruciating. However, we don’t go into a painful surgery sans anesthesia and instead re-read a breakup letter to manage the physical pain.

This avoidance shows how powerful emotional pain is, and how much people don’t like it– they’ll go to extreme lengths to avoid it.

But why?

Because emotional pain, unlike physical pain (most of the time), damages our mental health significantly.

Physical pain has to be pretty extreme to leave us with mentally crippling trauma, whereas it is much easier for emotional pain to leave its scars.

Bullying throughout primary school can make individuals untrusting, introverted, shy, and insecure for their whole lives.

An ex-lover can make individuals hurt and bitter, avoiding all potential future relationships for fear of being hurt.

And other times, severe emotional trauma can manifest in disorders such as Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Major Depression, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

 

Whether emotional or physical pain is more detrimental to us than the other, the point is that both need equal attention.

Many times, physical pain such as visible injuries or long-term diseases garner far more attention and sympathy, whereas emotional pain is overlooked. Emotional pain is oftentimes underestimated and neglected, when the fact is that both affect us greatly.

Both the mind and the body need our attention. So don’t dismiss one or the other as being unimportant– words can hurt you, not just sticks and stones.


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201407/5-ways-emotional-pain-is-worse-physical-pain

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/28/burn.heartbreak.same.to.brain/

http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases/8332-study-illuminates-the-pain-of-social-rejection

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fibromyalgia/basics/definition/con-20019243

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201407/5-ways-emotional-pain-is-worse-physical-pain

Kross, E., et al. (2011). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 108(15), 6270-6275. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1102693108

 

Leave your vote

2 points
Upvote Downvote

Total votes: 2

Upvotes: 2

Upvotes percentage: 100.000000%

Downvotes: 0

Downvotes percentage: 0.000000%

Related Articles

Responses

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Psych2Go

Hey there!

Forgot password?

Forgot your password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Close
of

Processing files…