Saying ‘Thank You’ is More Than Just Politeness

One time, while my friend and I were paying for our food in the convenience store, he gave me a questioning gaze when I thanked the cashier as he handed me my changed. After we walked out of the store, he asked me with such innocence “why did you thank him? You’re technically paying him.” To which I replied, equally amused, “Its thanks for his good service. It doesn’t really matter if I pay him or not.”

I sincerely hoped that I made that person’s day that time, especially since I’ve noticed that people can’t really give a simple thank you. It’s enlightening, how my friend asked me because that particular happening sparked my curiosity on the effects of saying thank you to people.

Studies have suggested that being grateful can improve well-being, physical health, strengthen social relationships, produce positive emotional states and help us cope with stressful times in our lives.

Francesca Gino, an associate professor at Harvard Business School conducted what she coined as “gratitude experiments”. She worked with Professor Adam grand of the Wharton School.

They first asked 57 students to give feedback to a fictitious student, Eric, regarding his sloppy cover letter for a job. Half were emailed a terse confirmation: “I received your feedback on my cover letter.” The other half received gratitude: “I received your feedback on my cover letter. Thank you so much! I am really grateful.”

When Gino and Grant measured the students’ sense of self-worth afterward, 25 percent of the group that received just an acknowledgment felt higher levels of self-worth, compared with 55 percent of the group that received thanks.

In a follow-up experiment, participants received a message from another fictitious student, Steven, asking for feedback on his cover letter. Would participants who had received thanks from Eric be more likely to help Steven? Indeed. More than double the percentage of students in the gratitude group (66 percent) helped Steven, versus just 32 percent of those in the no-gratitude contingent.

“Receiving expressions of gratitude makes us feel a heightened sense of self-worth, and that in turn triggers other helpful behaviors toward both the person we are helping and other people, too,” Gino said. She described the scope of the “gratitude effect” as “the most surprising part” of her research.

The experiments discovered that people weren’t providing more help because they felt better about it , but because they appreciated being needed and felt more socially valued when being thanked.

Dr. Karen Ruskin explains that saying thank you and you are welcome show respect for another person. These phrases express that you appreciate what someone else has done for you and show that you value the person. Furthermore, when someone says thank you to you, and you reply you’re welcome, this interaction shows that you appreciate the time the other person took to let you know he appreciates what you did to him. You feel respected as does he.

This feeling of social worth helps people get over factors that stop us from helping. We are often unsure our help is really wanted and we know that accepting help from other may feel like a failure within ourselves. The act of gratitude nullifies that. It serves as a reassurance that the helper’s efforts are valued and motivates them to provide more assistance.

Since, for most of us, expressing our gratitude is something what we do normally, we tend to think nothing of it. But psychologically it has a very important role to play for both the person giving and the person receiving. It boosts our self esteem and encourages further prosocial behavior.

And that’s the end of it, folks. Thank you for reading this article!

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